In most circumstances I would say ‘I can only talk for myself’ but with our YTT group I get a real sense that we are all so open and authentic with ourselves and one another in ‘the space’ that we have created, that we are all closely connected and can feel and sense what the others are experiencing; So with that in mind, I’m going to say that this morning I felt like the nerves and reservations from the 2nd week end were gone, but the excitement was still there, which was great to see and feel.
I am tempted to describe our fun filled day, hour by hour, but I will challenge myself and try to summarise today in as few words as possible.
The day was the perfect mix of Yin and Yang:
‘Duck & Goose’ or ‘Namaste and Utkatasana’ haha!
Sharing about our experience of the past 3 weeks.
A group practice teach – for which I volunteered!! Having live feedback from experienced yogis and current teachers alike is destabilising to say the least, but so helpful! and while my old self highly disliked criticism, even the constructive type, now I actively seek it.
An Asana Clinic, focusing on Chaturanga and the transition into upward dog. Such ‘basic’ poses which we repeat so many times in class, that getting them ‘right’ and knowing what modifications can be taken are essential to all of us, as students and teachers.
A 60min class during which we were required to take modifications for every pose, unexpectedly, the practice felt stronger that other practices I have done without taking modifications. Part of becoming a teacher is learning to lead by example; it’s great telling students that they can take modifications, ie keeping their knees on the floor in high plank, but other yogis seeing us do it in class is even more powerful as it gives them reassurance that modifications are there to be taken.
A lunch filled with healthy food and laughter, talk about dairy alternative milks, and a hair plaiting clinic.
Self-inquiry around ‘authenticity’, or the lack of it in our lives. Once again, I was humbled to be part of such an authentic bunch of people who are able to openly say, ‘I haven’t been authentic’, I respect and love every single one of them.
More practice teach, which left us all BUZZING and looking forward to tomorrow.
After a light dinner and a heavy sleep, I woke up ravenous at 5am, I pretended to sleep for another hour until I couldn’t wait any longer and got up to start my day. I didn’t meditate as I knew we would start our day with meditation but I managed to fill my pre training hour with little tasks, like perfecting my green smoothie (spinach, pear, mango, banana and rice/coconut milk) and spending too long on plaiting my hair with a different head scarves.
We started our day with a group meditation, I wish I could start my day like this every day, on my own it’s easy to make excuses why I don’t have time, but starting the day with stillness has a certain effect on your day and sharing that experience with others, well it makes it even more special.
We discussed the meaning of forgiveness, what it means and why it is so important.
We did a 60 minute practice, focusing our attention on listening, I felt very present and grounded, our teacher’s voice was my anchor throughout the whole practice – this set us up perfectly for what was to come.
We spent the rest of our day with the wonderful Lucy, chanting with our hearts, learning with our senses, communicating with our eyes, meditating, feeling and listening with our entire beings.
I would love to share even a tenth of what Lucy shared with us yesterday, but I don’t know how to. What I will say, is that I have understood the power of chanting and how it enables us to access knowledge that writing and reading cannot. Having understood this, I rather not make a halfhearted attempt at explaining what I learnt experienced yesterday. Instead, I will encourage every one who is reading now, to be curious and open minded and to drop what you know. Remember that time when you were so sure of something and only once you realised you were wrong you realised how wrong you had been; well, assume that Everything you think you know could be wrong, and see what you see. I am fully aware of my vagueness and I don’t apologise for it, life is an enigma and yoga gives us the tools, not to find the answer, but to navigate through it calmly.
Part of me wonders how I can go back to work and go about my usual day when I am questioning whether ‘I am’. But somehow I will, although my perception of life and the world has changed, and I’m loving my new ‘eyes’.