I know I know, it’s been a little while since my last post, let me reassure you, it’s not a lack of inspiration, but a lack of time. I have been teaching (yoga), working my 9-5 as well as at the yoga studio, travelling (for fun and with work), practicing (yoga), meditating, (instagramming, I admit it shamefully), reading books about (yoga obvs) trying to be a good girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend and housemate but not doing a very good job. I could write a whole post about this (and will if I find the time) but the quickest conclusion is: Being busy is Overrated.
So I finally get time to stop and reflect and I must admit, I am very glad that I have made time to scribble in my diary, as it helps me remember clearly what we did and how I felt. The training weekends are so FULL (8am-7pm Sat and 8am-6pm Sun) that it is sometimes hard to remember everything in detail. The fullness of these week ends makes it very challenging to write about them but as I say every time, I will try my best to give a fair picture of how I experienced week end 4 of training.
Week end 4: 23rd and 24th April
We had a 5 week break between the 3rd and the 4th week end. When the long list of homework came through my inbox following the awesome 3rd week end, I looked at it and thought it was a lot, but reassured myself that if I did some of it every day, I would be able to complete it by the time the next week end came along.
I got really busy doing all the things mentioned above (not so much of the reading during this period) and by the time I got an email kindly reminding me that the test was available and should be done by the Friday, I had done almost none of the reading. I had read the first 11 pages of the Yoga Sutras, but had been discouraged by the fact that every other word was in Sanskrit, making it more of a ‘quiet afternoon at home’ read (I mean total silence) rather than a ‘read it on the bus’ kind of read. Bla-excuses-bla, 2 days to go before the 4th week end, no spare time ahead of me and I felt like I had done a 10th of what we had to do. I did practice teach on a weekly basis but I had left the theory behind. I felt like I had let myself and my fellow yogis down. When embarking on this journey I wanted to be fully committed and give it my all, but somehow I had prioritised wrongly and although my handstand practice was coming along nicely, I didn’t know much about the Sutras. I felt embarrassed.
The Friday night before the 4th week end, the usual excitement was replaced by a bit of anxiety but I tried my best not to let it get to me.
5 Paragraphs in and I still haven’t talked about the week end itself, but the time in between the weekend is all part of the training too so I think it deserves as much space.
We started the week end with a ‘public class’. Being on my mat, moving my body, breathing, enabled me to reconnect with myself and my yoga family, reminding me that it would all be Ok. Luckily our teacher training is a place where everything and anything can be said out loud, so admitting to my group that I was Behind (note the use of the capital B) seemed relatively minor once I had said it and a few of my fellow yogis admitted to being in a similar situation. Clearing the air before starting the week end enabled me to realise how much bigger it seemed in my mind and made me wonder in what other areas of my life I could benefit from talking about any concerns I have as soon as I can rather than letting them become problems in my mind.
The theme of the week end was ‘Disruption’. What patterns do we see in our lives that we could benefit from disrupting? Interestingly enough, within our group there have already been some pretty major disruptions, one yogi has moved back to Stockholm after 10 years in London! another one has left her job in finance to share her passion for yoga, another has left her job after 10 years, there have been a break ups as well (I think this beautiful soul simply outgrew her partner) a quiet mum has blossomed into a confident teacher, an awesome mum of 3 decided to shave most of her long locks and these are just the visible changes. Within our group I can clearly see a shift in everyone but I am not sure if they are all visible to the naked eye. If I can see these changes in them despite us being on the same journey, what must others see? Or perhaps they can’t see it?
Quote of the week end ‘Transformation only happens when there is a shift in energy.’
I think I started feeling a deep change during the 40 day Program (Post about it on my blog) but the training has enabled me to continue in that direction. I have understood that we are all, always changing, I am always ‘me’, but I am different today to how I was yesterday. This is a relatively new concept for me but I love how empowering it is.
We spent most of the week end learning to assist yogis in different yoga poses. This was fun and interesting but also challenging as all bodies are different and the last thing we want to do is hurt each other so we have to learn to read bodies. We practiced on each other and found out that it was partly trial and error despite the methodology.
Lucy, who I’ve referred to before, came and sprinkled some more of her magic dust on us. We did some chanting and discussed Yogic philosophy, my new favourite topic. Unfortunately it is not common accessible to all in the West so I find myself talking at my patient boyfriend about the different aspects of the human mind and how we can achieve\attain (don’t like either of these words in this context) Samadhi – total Bliss. I won’t go into detail because one post would never suffice, all I can say is ‘Read all about it!
And during the whole time we were practicing, practice teaching, learning how to assist, eating, chatting, giggling, dancing (we had to do dance routines in groups, don’t ask why but am happy to show you the video if you ask nicely) we created memories that will stay with us forever.
Luckily the break between the 4th and the 5th training was only 2 weeks long as I am hooked to spending time with my yoga fam. I love you all!