How do you prepare for silence and solitude in daily life?

I started reflecting on this on the 9th November, the moment I found out that my application had been accepted and I would be able to attend the upcoming 49 day silent retreat starting 9th February.

I started writing this blog article about a month ago and after writing a couple of paragraphs and finding myself staring at the screen, I realised I didn’t really know what to write so I decided to leave it aside and pick it up again closer to the time, which is now, 5 days away from the start date. I’m not entirely surprised to tell you that I am still figuring out the best preparation for silence and solitude in the midst of daily life.

Having said that, I have had some insights and I feel inspired to write about them, in case anyone may be interested to read about them.

First, some information about the retreat

The retreat is organised by Hridaya Meditation Centre, who have a centre in Mexico and one in France, where I’ve attended all past silent retreats (3 days, 10 days, 17 days and most recently 6 days as I wasn’t able to participate in the 17 days due to an unexpected flight cancellation). 

On the 10th day we, myself and the other 11 participants, will be driven into the mountains to a retreat centre called Terraza del Mundo, El Refugio, where we’ll be allocated individual cabins in which we’ll spend 39 days.

Here are some photos but you can also see a video of the place here. https://youtu.be/CQsBRt3Aw6E?si=-DCnALxIOQtraW0b 

During our time at El Refugio, we are encouraged to stay in our cabin as much as possible, ‘to approach the time in solitude as if we were in a cave’, dedicate 8 hours to meditation, 2 hours to asana (postures) and 1 hour to pranayama (breath practice).

The suggested daily schedule is:

• 7:00-11:30 am Practice
• 11:30 am-3:00 pm Brunch and Rest
• 3:00-6:00 pm Practice
• 6:00 pm Dinner
• 7:30-9:30 pm Practice

Although we can adapt the times to our preference. We will be served two vegan meals a day at 11.30am and 6pm, which I am already feeling so grateful for. I am aware of what a gift it is to be cared for like this, for such a long time and in this way be able to dedicate every hour of every day to cultivating presence and inward attention. I also believe that these ‘qualities’ can and ought to be cultivated in daily life as well of course, however I have found in all past silent retreats that my ability to concentrate and dive within has been a lot more easeful due to the removal of distractions. 

We will also be given enough wood for 1 fire per evening, which I imagine will be a real blessing as I checked the weather forecast and it looks like the temperature can drop down to -1 celsius/ 33 Fahrenheit. Additional to the physical warmth, wood fires always give me a feeling of coming home. Although I don’t remember past lives or know where all my ancestors lived, I imagine they sat around fires a lot, as all humans did not so long ago, before we had electricity and screens. I am very grateful for all the trees and those who have or will cut the wood and bring it to my door so all I have to do is light the fire and receive its’ warmth and light. GRACIAS

Talking of screens, we will hand our phones on the 1st day of the retreat and are not allowed to read books or listen to music of course, though we are allowed to journal. Needless to say I’ve brought enough paper and pens to write a book haha!! The retreat centres do not have mirrors and it is advised that we avoid making eye contact with anyone we meet, to cultivate the sense of interiorisation. 

Why choose to spend time alone in silence?

Now that you have an idea of the structure of the retreat you may or may not ask yourself, Why in the world would anyone want to do that?!

Since submitting my application for the retreat back in September I’ve mentioned it to people in conversation and I’ve found it interesting to observe people’s different reactions. The truth is that the first time I heard about silent retreats I said ‘I could never do something like that.’ I remember quite vividly thinking it sounded like a terrible idea and I couldn’t fathom ever wanting to be part of such a retreat. 

Well, times have changed, almost a decade has passed since then and I am now so very grateful to be embarking on this journey.

If you feel a longing for silence and solitude too, I’m sure this makes perfect sense.

If not, I totally understand as I didn’t either and I’m happy to offer a brief explanation of what inspires me to dedicate almost 2 months to silence and solitude.

To keep it simple, since I began meditating daily 9 years ago exactly, as I started in Feb 2015, I have noticed my ability to be present and my capacity for compassion grow hand in hand. I smile when people tell me how calm and loving they perceive me to be. First of all, I’m not always calm and loving, although I aspire to be, but also, I haven’t always been this way. I am simply an ordinary person who has been guided lovingly by numerous generous teachers and who has had the opportunity to dedicate time to sadhana (spiritual practice). 

I share this in the hope others like me, meaning any human being, may consider how introducing meditation to their lives may benefit not only them but all those around them and beyond.

This idea that our personal practice and healing positively impacts humanity and the World is one I haven’t always been on board with. It once seemed like a mystical concept, distant from my reality. Countless hours of meditation later I not only believe but I feel and know that the simplest way to bring peace to the world is to embody peace. I speak more of this in my recent blog Yoga Teacher Training, an island of Love.

During previous silent retreats I have experienced this state or rather non-state of grace, of pure presence, in which our inherent Oneness is so clear and perceptible, rather than conceptual. My sense of me and mine have become so thin that they seem irrelevant and it’s so freeing and deeply restful. The body slows down and the mind becomes quieter, everything shines with radiant beauty. These moments of pure beingness have been scarce and not very long, most often towards the end of retreats. I know that this is not anywhere to be found but in the present moment, in every breath and every step, yet, I somehow forget and find myself rushing and worrying until I remember to stop, take a breath and everything is ok again. My hope is that this recognition of everything as myself will continue to blossom and become easier to maintain outside of retreats, which I have already observed little by little.

Of course everything is not ok everywhere in the world for all sentient beings, but I know that I can contribute to the well-being of those around me and beyond, or not, simply through my way of being. When I am caught in my mind I am forgetful and fearful, resistant to life, while when I am present I trust life and being generous with all who I cross paths with is second nature. 

So this, in brief, is my intention for this retreat and for my life, to dissolve into Love, to continue to soften those parts that cling and reject, judge and fear, so all that is left is LOVE, our true essence. To be less rather than more as the great Indian sage Sri Ramanamaharshi would encourage.

Am I scared?

Something people have asked me is whether I am scared so I’ll speak about this.

I remember being a little nervous before the first ever silent retreat I took part in, which was only 3 days. I remember thinking, what if I really want to speak?! Funnily enough that has never materialised in that one nor any of the following retreats, though I have wanted to sing, but I simply did not. 

This time, I mostly feel incredibly grateful. I realise what a unique opportunity it is to have all this time for spiritual endeavours. 

Interestingly, about a week ago I dreamt that someone asked me if I was scared and in my dream I said I was, which I was surprised about when I woke up. Perhaps my subconscious was informing me that there is some fear, though I don’t feel it even as I write this now.

Either way, when I reflect on past profound spiritual journeys, they have all been preceded by a sense of “I can’t believe I’m doing this but here we go!” and I think I could apply this to this retreat though I can very much believe it is happening as it feels like I have been preparing for it for almost 10 years. 

Preparation

In terms of the actual preparation, the guideline was to meditate 2 hours daily ahead of the retreat. I started meditating 2 hours every day since submitting my application on the 3rd of September and tried to continue during the Yoga Teacher Training I co-guided in November, but realised that it was almost impossible as we normally start our days at 5.30am and finish classes around 6pm so with meals and class preparation 1 hour was the best I could do. After the training I returned to the 2 hours daily but the last couple of weeks I consciously decided to only practice 1 hour in the morning so I could dedicate my evenings to be with my partner. 

I thought I would try to slow my life down and do less, but the truth is that knowing that I’d be away for over 2 months I found myself wanting to do more and I sometimes did, we went kayaking with our friends which we hadn’t done, we also visited an ancient Mayan site on the other site of the lake, things we had wanted to do for over a year gained priority once I knew I’d leave, which I found interesting.

Saying bye

This has been the hardest part of this whole preparation process, accepting that in order to go on this journey I had to say goodbye to my boyfriend and my daily life in San Juan, the little village we live in, on the edges of Lake Atitlan. I Love life there, I Love my boyfriend, I love our humble home, I love spending time with the kids I volunteer with every week, I love each one of them so much, I’ve loved guiding sound baths every Saturday morning the months of January and February, the community is so kind, I Love having weekly ‘meetings’ with my best friend Rachael, the founder of Breath Body Earth – our Yoga School, I Love speaking to my parents most Sundays, I love exchanging occasional profound voice notes with my brother every once in a while, I also love listening to and sending voice notes to my close sisters around the world, I Love seeing our friends who live over in the next door town with whom we gather and share adventures and meals, I Love the weekly online class I teach with the same women I’ve been practicing with for 3 years now – I love them and I love playing my guitar, I Love singing, I Love reading books, I Love Life. 

Am I ready for silence?

I live in a rather loud place, which is always a surprise to people who have only seen it in photos. This is actually the theme of many foreigners’ conversations about Guatemala “it’s so loud!”. Fireworks, music of all sorts at all times, sometimes multiple genres at a time, tuctcus and the list goes on. I’m fortunate to live near the mountain in an alleyway so the engine noises are not so loud, but it’s rarely completely silent, at night dogs bark, in the morning roosters sing but I have found myself appreciating all these sounds more than ever.

As a matter of fact, this has been one of the gifts of this time of preparing for silence and solitude, realising how much I Love the humans I share life with. Knowing that I won’t see them or do all these things that I Love for 2 months has helped me realise just how grateful I am for them, for all of it and I think this is part of the medicine of this retreat. 

Last words

This has been a much longer article than I had anticipated and it matches this preparation journey which I had not contemplated before applying and the arduous journey to get here: 1 boat, 1 13 hour shuttle, one 15min taxi, 2 nights in San Cristobal de las Casas, 15min taxi ride, overnight 12 hour bus ride to Pochutla, shared taxi ride to colectivo stop, 1 hour colectivo to Mazunte and a 20min walk in the sun up an uphill dirt road with my 2 suitcases having had very little sleep on the bus. But I made it! and I believe the pilgrimage is part of the journey.

I am glad to say that I feel prepared and at peace. I know there may be some difficulties along the way, but I also know this is my path and I am so very grateful for the people who support me and encourage me.  

Thank you for reading and a Big Big Thank You to all the karma yogis who make these retreats possible by volunteering their time, to Sahajananda for being an inspiration and guiding so many of us and to anyone who contributes to these retreats and I am not even aware of, Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

Interested in Silence?

If you are interested in silent retreats, I highly recommend Hidaya, who as I mentioned have a centre in Mazunte, Mexico where I am currently and in Lyon, France where I have done all past retreats. You can find more information about their retreats here.

For anyone living in Panama or Costa Rica or travelling in the area around that time:

The 49 day retreat ends on the 29th March but I imagine I may not start replying to messages until some time in April. Thank you for your patience.

With Love and Gratitude,

Melissa