It has been a little under two months since I came out of the last silent retreat I participated in and I even wondered if I should write this article. This question often arises when I’m about to write. From one perspective it feels somewhat self-important to write about a personal spiritual experience. 

But the answer that comes to me is the same every time – it does matter whether I write about these experiences. On many occasions friends and even strangers have told me that reading an article I shared inspired them to participate in a silent retreat or to start meditating. So I continue to write, trusting that whoever is meant to read this will come across this article at the right time 🙂 Thank you for being here and thank you for reading.

As always I like to preempt my articles by saying that I share from my personal experience and it is naturally coloured by my previous life experiences and my beliefs. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.

About the retreat

This was my 8th silent retreat, but I think it is worth mentioning that the 1st one I did was 3 days, 8 years ago. This was also my 2nd 17 day retreat and it was interestingly familiar yet different. You can read about the first 17 day retreat I experienced here. 

This retreat felt different for a few reasons. One of them being that since then, I have done a 59 day and a 31 day silent retreat, therefore the 17 days didn’t intimidate me like the first one did. This time I approached it with a sense of trust that I cultivated through experiencing other retreats. Still, before the retreat there was a little nervousness, which arises every time, even for the most recent 3 days I did with my brother last year.

Preparation

Another aspect that made this retreat different is that just 3 days before it started I completed Module 1, a 3 week immersive retreat (that I highly recommend – you can read more about it here) where we practice between 3 and 4 hours of Hatha Yoga every day as well as attending evening lectures on different aspects of yoga philosophy. I felt like Module 1 was the perfect preparation for the retreat as in past silent retreats the 1st days did feel a little more challenging as the body and mind take some time to adjust to a slower pace and much less stimulation than in regular daily life. This enabled for more ease, stillness and deeper meditations from the beginning of a retreat which was a pleasant surprise. 

Highlights

I choose to structure the article in a way that fits what I imagine someone might ask, ie: “what were the highlights?”. Funnily, when I asked myself the question the initial answer was ‘The whole retreat, every single aspect of it.’ And still I will try to structure my answer a little more.

The sangha – spiritual community

Having done 2 long retreats in solitude I have developed much deeper appreciation for the shared experience. Though we are encouraged not to make eye contact with other participants, which I try my best to follow, the collective aspiration is felt. I remember the 1st ever silent retreat I did. I found it a little awkward to be around people in silence but now I really love it. By the end of the retreat I feel such closeness and love for all the participants.

Sahajananda & the Satsangs (Spiritual Lectures)

Sahaja is the founder of Hridaya and the main teacher of the 17 day retreats, alongside Claud who is also a wonderful guide.

The 10 day silent retreat that Sahaja created many years ago is delivered in a similar way every time. The same topics are covered, including different meditation methods and spiritual concepts and despite this being the 8th time I heard the teachings, they keep a freshness. 

Sahaja is the most enlightened person I have ever met, a true teacher who embodies the teachings he shares. 

Hridaya Hatha Yoga

The daily hatha yoga practice guided by different Hridaya teachers is so simple yet profound. During the first retreat I did at Hridaya years ago I found the pace too slow, but now I Love it and I have adopted it as part of my sadhana (daily spiritual practice)

The Hridaya grounds

On previous occasions I stayed offsite which meant that I would have some interactions with people who were not part of the retreat. I wouldn’t break my silence vow but any interaction is still enough to generate thoughts in my experience. 

This time I decided to stay onside, in the 10 bed women’s dorm and I am so glad I did. In fact I even followed Sahaja’s recommendation not to leave the Hridaya centre and I feel it enabled me to settle into stillness with more ease. I enjoyed watching the sunrise every morning and I loved the long breaks between 1pm and 4pm and sat for long stretches of time overlooking the ocean. I even saw a whale one afternoon which was a magical sighting that took all my will power not to tell other participants who were close by. 

Insights

This retreat felt like a breeze for the most part, which felt like an undeniable confirmation that ‘It does get easier!’

The spiritual journey is not linear of course and I have had times of feeling like my progress is slower than what I wished it was. Patterns sometimes resurface and I am still disappointed when I catch myself lost in thoughts, disconnected from Self. 

Having said that, I feel it is important to acknowledge that I can so clearly see how presence has developed in the past few years, how compassion has naturally grown in my Heart and this is why I feel so enthusiastic about this path. Our World needs compassion, ‘everyone needs compassion’ as Sahaja beautifully said in a Satsang during the Retreat and this is the true reason I continue to walk this path as a student and as a teacher.

There were many more highlights and insights but my beloved father once told me I write too much and people won’t read haha! So I try to mention only what feels most relevant.

Post retreat

After the retreat ended I travelled back home over two days. A night bus to San Cristobal, a night there and then a full day shuttle back to Lake Atitlan, where I met with my boyfriend who I hadn’t seen in two whole months. The reunion was sweet and a little awkward, like every time we are apart for some time, but we always find our way back to closeness. 

Just a couple of weeks later I had the blessing of guiding a 7 day silent retreat in Panama, the 5th Silent retreat I guided, the longest one yet, and it felt like a continuation of my time at Hridaya. I loved hearing each of the 13 participants share their experience and I feel so enthusiastic about continuing to offer these spaces to slow down, contemplate and go within. These retreats are not an escape from reality as some may imagine, they are rather an opportunity to get in touch with a deeper dimension of our being, so we can be in the World with the remembrance of who we are.

If you are curious about silent retreats I highly recommend retreats at Hridaya, you can find information for their retreats in France and in Mexico here.

If you are curious but a little unsure that you are ready for an more intense structure, the retreats I offer are a gentle introduction to silence. We practice mauna (noble silence) but you are allowed to read and write if you wish to. Meditations increase gradually starting with 5mins the first evening and reaching up to one hour towards the end of the retreat.

The next 3 day Silent Retreat will be in the UK, just one hour outside of London 1st-5th of October, you can request more information here.

The next 4-7 day Silent Retreat will be in Panama in May 2027, you can request more information here.

And if you have any questions about silence or anything related please don’t hesitate to reach out, I am happy to connect personally.

Thank you

I want to express my profound gratitude to  the karma yogis at Hridaya who make these retreats possible. Deep gratitude to Sahajananad for his beautiful pure Heart, for being our guiding light. Infinite gratitude to the Spiritual Heart, the essence of all existence. And Thank You for reading and for your interest in these topics.

With Love,

Melissa